Dual....:-)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
