I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
