Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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