So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
