similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
