you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
