Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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