I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We are all done wearing pants today
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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