If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
