guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The Olympian is in my bed
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
