I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Help. Why am I so naked?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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