Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
