Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
