Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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