So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
did i just pee glitter
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