Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
