One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
