Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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(585): View more from New York

the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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(703): View more from Virginia

And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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(248): View more from Michigan

He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.

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(813): View more from Florida

Penises. Everywhere.

(772): View more from Florida

You're. Welcome.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.

(907): View more from Alaska

Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.

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