im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you would pick up someone in the library
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
