so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
