You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
