I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
