In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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