from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
