So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
