Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His nipple licking is glorious
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