he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
