It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
