This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
