i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
