i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
