Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
