yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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