I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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