dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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