Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
