I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
