so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
