pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
