Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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