I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
