I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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