But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
love makes seman taste better
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
