There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
