Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
