I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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