Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
