it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
