So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
