Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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