So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
