I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
