Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
