I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
