It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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