i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
