I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
